♥IMAGINE

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Pre Port Dickson 2009

Ok now feeling's crazy

Suddenly I got quite tense up the moment I've packed finished, suddenly feel the tournament stress and such, and also got distracted by something.. Now now! This is not the time to be distracted!

=D Kk, Sarah have been someone whom I'm been sharing our thoughts with each other, and I was glad that she actually told me about being God-fearing and such etc. Really glad, it made me think.

Today's a crazy packing day, I BET this is the one and only time I did such last minute packing! 1 day before! OH MY GOODNESS, when did I pack so last minute?! And starting I didn't mind about not performing well during tournament, just go there and enjoy etc etc, but suddenly because of one distraction, one distracting thought from someone, made me suddenly want to win it so much.(Maybe that's how I handle stress. Haha!) But it's quite impossible to win, you have MALAYSIAN national players, DAVIS CUPPERS from various countries etc etc, Top guy like ex ATP player V. Selvam will be there.

So was stringing my racquet just now, and bump into the Elites as well as Coach Stan =) Glad to see them! =D And to find out Coach Zain was restringing his racquets there as well because of Port Dickson! I hope he retain his title of being Champion for Veteran!

Port Dickson Open 2009, Malaysia, ITF 25K here we come!

Before I end off, let me share.

I know it might be tough, tomorrow is the day that I will be exposed to, and stepped into once again the WORLD OF ELITE. Where the attitude and skills matters, whoever is the most skillful have the most say. And I bet you readers have known I've been struggling back and forth between these two worlds, just pray for me that I remain humble and be not tempted by the things the WORLD OF ELITE can offer, because greater still, is the things GOD offer. And yes, in the WORLD OF ELITE itself, there are many Christians, but all of us are just hypocrites who don't live like one. Just pray for me that I will be able to keep myself humble, as well as spurring on to the other fellow Christians there to be a good testimony to the rest.

Pray hard that I do not be conform and being consumed by temptation of what that WORLD can offer, pray for me for discernment, pray for me to have the knowledge to know the differences, pray for me for a humble heart, pray for safety and journey mercies throughout the entire trip there and back, pray that I'll continue to set a side time everyday even though my intend there was for tournament/holiday, that I'll be reading God's word, communicating with God, learning more and more about Him day by day.

Pray for me, as I've found a couple of churches, and I wish to keep the SABBATH HOLY still, I would want to still make this conviction firm, NOT TO PLAY TENNIS ON A SUNDAY, and that I'll be able to attend a morning service over there on Sunday. Pray for a good time of worship as well as sermon that I will be hearing irregardless of the church denomination.

Lastly, pray and thanks God for giving me each day to live, for everyday that I have on earth, is given by God.

And I have found my Ultimate partner, He has been always here, Jesus, my Ultimate partner, together, we'll create a miracle!

Though it's my habit, before any major tournament, back then, when I still have a unfulfilled promised made to Michelle, everytime when I start a tournament, I'll say this. There's no one important in my life waiting for me and for me to say to, but I'll just say this to God... "Watch Me Serve"

With God, all things are possible!

Monday, November 02, 2009

Filming...

Oh my goodness...

I can't believe it's confirmed, and I'm sort of given the main lead! I've never really done any acting much, and this is the first! Quite excited and quite scared that I might screw up, somemore it's for Church's Christmas outreach! Ahh! Ok, I need more facial liao then. Haha! And that means I can't go YOG training...(Full day shoot on saturday.. so many scenes..) But oh well, God over all other things.. =)

And I can't get over this "At least a box of strawberry pocky a day" thingy...

Kk, I guess it's time for me to reply to Tracy's mail for today's(We have been writing =D ) before I head to dreamland~ Miss you lots gal.

Kk, 3 hours of coaching tomorrow(You all can roughly know how much I earn tomorrow liao. Haha), and physical training for myself in preparation of PORT DICKSON OPEN, it's NEXT WEEK! Really can't wait! VACATION! AWAY FROM SINGAPORE! =D Oh please pray for my driving PRACTICAL test which will be on this friday.. Pray PLEASE!

~Welcome to Windy City~

Sunday, November 01, 2009

The new wind...

Many things happened, but all of it are pleasant~ =)

And I'm so lazy to blog, but things have been very good lately... =) And here's the end of a msn convo I had with Tracy just now~

(broken) smile. says (5:18 PM):
hahaha YEAH O:
kkkkk gtg!
night!

Zero | Elite | The past should give us hope | A new wind says (5:19 PM):
LOL
hahaha
kk
byebye
=)
miss u
=D

(broken) smile. says (5:19 PM):
i'll be thinking of you (;
HAHAHAHAHA

Zero | Elite | The past should give us hope | A new wind says (5:19 PM):
=O

(broken) smile. says (5:19 PM):
haha i will la.
kkkk reply my email!
NIGHT ^^

Zero | Elite | The past should give us hope | A new wind said (5:20 PM):
ok~~
=D
goodnight, sleep tight my dear~

kk for those who don't know, it's 10.20pm over there. Haha~

Thankfully she's doing quite well at New Zealand... Ok I have a bar of cabury which I bought yesterday at CANDY UMPIRE, and it's waiting for me. =D And I had Bens and Jerrys yesterday~

=D

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thanks God for Tracy

A listener, a close friend and a little sister to me...

When you're gone... I think I need sometime to get used to it.... For now, just having this song to accompany me...

=( You are already badly missed...

Monday, October 26, 2009

WBX Boiled Extreme

Less than 24 hours.

Ok, I've been acting really strangely over the last 2 weeks, it's because I really treasure my friendship very much, that every single second that passed, I know that we're getting closer and closer to the date by the second.

It's just sad to have a really close friend leaving, and I'm super terrible with goodbyes, I hate goodbyes. But since she's requesting us to send her off with a smile, I'll do my best to put on one tomorrow, worse come worse, just buy those white mask with a big smile infront, and wear over it.... blah.

I was lying on my bed again, and I have never felt this feel for such a long time already! Like almost a year? The feeling of laying down on my back, stretching out my right hand towards the ceiling, and then tell God, "Someday, I'll reach the horizon...", Dreams and goals, I wonder what is it right now. But at least it felt good, to be able to feel how it used to felt like in the past... =)

Because, "The Past Should Give Us Hope", therefore we are able to move forward.

Hitori de wa todakanai yume(I can't reach this dream alone)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Who is it that you can truly call, "An important person?"

Who really fits this title...

As I was writing the final sunday letter last night, towards the end, I got emotional and starting to tear abit, and after which I turn off for the night, tears just can't stop streaming from my face, and I have totally no idea.

The sleep was not as smooth as I thought it would go.. Tossing and turning in the bed, frequently thinking of how much time left I have with my close friend, thinking of the future ahead, missing the presence, I pictured myself find that I miss teasing someone, exchanging letters every sunday, and looking forward to what she wrote, I'll miss having one more person to talk to, share our secrets and problems with, I'll never get to see that name flashing on my handphone as a phone call after 27th nov.

But what's the biggest regrets was because of other's filthy mouths, that we start to distance ourselves alittle. She's my very close friend, like a little sister to me.

I remembered my entry in late Dec 2008 or even early Jan 2009. That was the last time I describle and use the word "Important person" on someone. But it was with so much disappointment, from then on, I've never called or told someone that she's an important person to me in my life(Not those romantic interest type, but those who really impacts life type). I never dare to call someone that, but subconsciously in my heart, whenever I got close to someone, I part of me will label her as someone who is really important to me, that I want to protect, and be there when that person is down, guide and also care for.

Normally, when two person become close friends, they sort of label each other as "Important person" to one another, but what if it's just a one sided feeling?

Today I dragged my feet home, like they have been chained with two 10kg weights on each legs, I wish I had a mask, as I was walking back home from Serangoon Interchange, wanting to hide the face with an inverted smile, and those eyes that seems to be watery.

It really breaks one's heart, when the day you found out, or felt that, you are not as important as to the person as you thought you were, or not as equally important to the person as compared to how you felt that.

It's like this illustration
Me: "Hey, since we are such close friends, I come to realise that you are a very important person in my life"
Person: "Oh yea, we are close friends, but I didn't felt that you are any how important to me.. Sorry"

It's really that type of feeling, indirect gesture and body language(Although maybe she didn't say or mean it verbally, it just really felt like that...), that really tells that one is not really important, not at all appreciated, and like the feeling of neglected.... I'm just, sad that we didn't have much time with each other anymore(permenantly) and that I'm feeling like this, the strong emotion of being neglected.

And foolishly, I've place someone as a priorty again, maybe I just felt that she's an important person to me in my life and we have not much time left, but guess, she doesn't feel the same at all. And another stupid thing I did was, my heart is too quick to give the title of "important person" to someone...

And that's why I'm scared of being close to people, compared to the past, I guess compared to last time, I'm starting to close myself up, alot.

Because besides the REAL person who I think is an important to us one another(Michelle), is the one and only person, who ever never fail to comfort me with, "It's ok..."

=(

Friday, October 23, 2009

My LIPS TOP 10 songs

As of today

So far, since LIPS 1 and 2 songs can be played together on LIPS 2(Kudos to the makers! It's really cool!) and I've downloaded total of 3 songs yesterday/today, and LIPS 2 gave 3 special limited edition song pack to choose from(One only, and it's not available for purchase sadly, I like a few song from the other packs, anyway each pack has 5 songs, I wanted BAD DAY by Daniel Powter, but I didn't choose that pack...) Here it is..(Not in order of Merit)

1. Lucky - Jason Mraz(Download)
2. Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance(LIPS 2 Special Download Pack)
3. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz(LIPS 2)
4. More Than Words - Extreme(LIPS 2)
5. Something Stupid - Robbie Williams(Download)
6. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx(Download)
7. Viva La Vida - Coldplay(LIPS 2)
8. Apologise - Justin Timberlake(LIPS 2)
9. Complicated - Avril Lavigne(LIPS Original)
10. The Reason - Hoobastank(LIPS 2 Special Download Pack)

=D I think more to come loh... Just waiting for more contents! =D I should throw another LIPS party one of these days soon

All smiles~ =D

LIPS 2 addict

I'm so in love with this song!

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

=D